James and the whales

After reading this news article:

Rebecca:
I love how this article is clearly written for people in the northern hemisphere.

"The seas around Cape Town are teeming with whales and great white sharks during the winter months, which fall in the middle of the year."

James:
WITCHCRAFT!!!! I BLAME OBAMA!!!

Scott:
Yep, its a little known fact that the waters are so teeming with sharks and whales that ships have to be fitted with gian cow-catchers to push them all out of the way.

James:
In the winter months, anyway (in the MIDDLE of the year! the MIDDLE!) but at the ends of the year it's like a desert.

Only, you know, wet

Scott:
In particularly teeming middle winter years, locals will hire beach buggies and drive over the crammed together sea life to offshore islands they can't normally reach by car. Once there they'll strip naked under the moonlight and conduct arcane rituals to ensure the next winter will also arrive in the middle of the year.

James:
The not-mid-year-months, known by the locals as Endie-Yearie-Hottie-Time, see the ocean so devoid of life that the missing biomass causes the sea levels to drop dramatically. This is an excellent opportunity to retrieve lost cars that slipped through small gaps in the whales mid-year.

Scott:
And to fish out all those coins that fell out of pockets and slipped behind a whale.