Saturday, July 4, 2009

James develops a screen play

You should sell that concept to Michael Bay!


An original screen play by Michael Bay

Scene 1 - INT - Suburban house, living room

TOMMY is playing with his SONY AIBO - be sure to get lots of lingering shots of the SONY logo; they're paying us a lot.

TOMMY'S MOM enters - she is smoking hot, the ultimate MILF.

MOM: Come on Tommy, time to go to school.

TOMMY: But Mom, I wanna play with my awesome Sony Aibo!

MOM: Tommy, I know that the Sony Aibo is both fun and educational, but you're going to miss your bus.

Suddenly, a yellow school bush crashes through the wall! Rubble flies everywhere in awesome slow motion!

TOMMY: Woah... looks like the bus only just missed ME!

A crazy old man jumps out of the bus. He's some kind of mad scientist, so cast someone English, maybe that Ewan McGregor fag.

He's clutching a funky electronic box under his arm, with flashing lights and sh-t. It looks super awesome and will make a great merchandising item.

SCIENTIST: You're in terrible danger! You have to run!

MOM: [Dusts herself off - her clothes are ripped in a super-sexy way.] What do you mean? I have to save my son!

SCIENTIST: [Checks out the MILF - you can see him drool] No time to explain. The XBots will be here any second!

Suddenly, evil white robots with bright green light-up circles in the chests burst into the smashed-up house! They look like evil XBox 360's, because Sony's paying us a f--king sh-tload of money.

ROBOT BOSS: [He's a bad guy, so make his voice English too - maybe like that Saruman guy.] Stop, human! Hand over the Scion of Destiny!

SCIENTIST tries to run, but the robots shoot him in a f--king wicked awesome effects sequence. The box he was holding flies through the air and hits the SONY AIBO. There's a bright flash of light and lots of wicked cool CGI as the power in the box transforms the Aibo into a giant silver and blue robot dog with machine guns and sh-t.

TOMMY: Wow, look how cool my Sony Aibo is now!

SUPER AIBO blasts the living sh-t out of the robots, and they run like hell.

Scene 2 - Inside the Pentagon...

This stuff writes itself, really.