After finding that the email conversation was marked "Unclassified"
Scott - why didn't you use Unofficial as the classification?
Classification: Smelling slightly of pineapple
a far better classification choice than any other offered by the Department...
Classification: COVERED IN BEES!!!
Classification: Its all sticky. Its made of jam!
Classification: Superficially resembles a Pekingese
now I'm getting funny looks from my colleagues because I keep laughing out loud...
You need to classify things as Likely to make you snort!
Classification: Sounds like a water buffalo mating call
Classification: High level snort hazard. Do not read if you take heart medication, are pregnant or like to sit at your desk at work pretending that you're playing a tuba.
Classification: When printed, ground up, and snorted, will give you hallucinations of Dame Edna eating live chickens
Classification: Squealing like a pig.
Classification: Squelchy underfoot
Classification: Unnecessary use of street slang, yo.
Classification: Going to distribute Christmas gifts
[Rebecca changes the email classification to: Likely to make you snort which breaks the email filter system and has to be changed]
I had to raise the classification as the work filter didn't like it
Classification raised from "Covered in bees" to "Covered in badgers".
Which is one less than "Covered in hundreds of screaming pygmies with tiny sharp knives"
I don't have to worry about them - GMail has a screaming pygmy filter.
They all get dropped into my Pygmy folder, where they get pureed and turned into pygmy jam (it tastes like a mix of lychee, mandarin, and mescaline).
There's nothing like a pygmy jam sandwich for when the munchies hit.
indeed - nothing beats a pygmy jam sandwich for a small snack
*puts some bread in the toaster*
Those look the typed commands for the world's strangest pc text adventure game
You are carrying:
] look crown
The crown appears to be made of solidified and moulded mollusc secretions. A tag inside identifies it as belonging to the King of Wrong, and also that it is size 45.
] look dumpling
You are not sure how, but the dumpling gives the impression of being sleazy. Handling it makes you feel cheap and dirty.
] eat dumpling
What are you, crazy?
] look map
It is a fold-out map of greater Wrongtown and its surrounds, including the twin cities of Grope and Goat.
] look stick
It is a very small spear. It must belong to a very small pygmy.
] look statue
This wooden statue is a small carved figurine of a corpulent figure bearing a ceremonial bib and bucket. A plaque on the bottom identifies it as the likeness of Omnommer the Devourer. It is heavy for its size.
] search statue
There's a bas relief sculpture on the statue's pedestal. It appears to be a coat of arms with two goats on either side of a wheel cheese with the motto "may vos exsisto labefactum in a goat". There appears to be a lever next to the coat of arms.
] pull lever
A door slides open in the wall next to you. A million screaming pygmies with tiny spears pour out.