Wednesday, August 19, 2009

James thinks that Rebecca can manage ravening hordes

Wasn't I reading that... before school started and my only reading material is pared down to text books and journal articles?

Evil school.

It will all be worth it when you have a degree and a humongously paying logistics/project management job.

And then bec can wear a hockey mask while she rides across the wasteland in her post apocalyptic truck all while screaming "I am the Lord Humungous!"

Her mob of crazed desert raiders would be unusually well-organised.

"Now remember, it's Hammer, Maggot, and Screech's turn to devour the flesh of our still alive and screaming victims. Oh, and Mungo, you're rostered for flamethrower duty."

Well of course, what's the point of all this studying if I don't get to have well-organised ravening hordes?

"Now Mungo, about your performance for the last 6 months, how do you feel you've been doing?"

"Uh, well, *scratches*.....I dunno....I killed them farmers out near Port Hope good, an', uh, I been keeping me guns all shiny an' working an stuff...uh..."

"Yes? Anything else?"

"Um....I bin scavengin' stuff good too. Like, I bin strippin' clothes off the bodies for us, but I bin makin' sure to get stuff that ain't, you know, too full o' holes and blood and stuff. Wozzers and Beef reckon the pants I got 'em off those dead hippies are the best they've ever had."

"Is there anything you think you could improve?"

" reckon I could kick people some more, speshully when they're on the ground bleedin' an' stuff. An' I reckon I could probably do with some better war cries. I don' think mine are, y'know, scary enough...'I'll 'ave yer bollocks!'....I mean, it's not bad 'an stuff, but what if they
ain't got bollocks? I reckon I'd look pretty f'ckin' dumb shoutin' out that when they ain't got no bollocks to 'ave."

"Settle down please gentlemen..."

"And lady!"

"Sorry, Madame Blood. Lady and gentlemen. I am now calling to order the general weekly meeting of the assorted wasteland marauders leadership committee. Our first order of business is the fuel-saving initiative. Many of our staff have been leaving their makeshift death buggies idling while they storm into unguarded settlements to rape and pillage. At last week's meeting I asked you to brainstorm ways to encourage our people to turn the engines off before embarking on their orgies of blood and death. Have any of you come up with good ideas?"

"Aw, yeah, uh..."

"Skullsplitter? You made some progress?"

"Uh, yuh. When Ox forgot he left 'is motor runnin' the uvver day, I hacked off both his arms an' set 'em on fire before he died from blood loss."

"Hmmm, I can't say I approve of unnecessary staff turnover. However, did you find it had any results?"

"Yah, de uvvers've bin too scared to even turn deir motors on since den."

"Ah, now, can you see the negative result here? Dismemberment of staff can lead to a drop in morale, which is bad for our overall productivity, not to mention the lost staff member."

"Awww, sorry Mistress Rebecca. I'll only rip off arms fer serious offences in future."