Wednesday, September 9, 2009

James is a poet

There once was a lady named Bec
Who had the most munchable neck...

Hm... that ones a dead end...

Urrr, OK...

There once was a girl named Rebecca
Who at night drove a red double-decker...

No, I don't think so...

There once was a sweetie named Reb
Whose name didn't rhyme with any bloody thing....


OK OK... Let's try another one...

There was a girl named RebbyLyn,
Who had the world's naughtiest grin.
She would wear it, I'm told,
While she searched for a hole
She could blow lots of raspberries in.

There ya go...

Thursday, September 3, 2009

James's drum name

While discussing Rock Band and the Beatles here

This is actually looking pretty awesome...

I might have to pick this up, plus a couple of extra microphones for the three-part harmony vocals. :)

You can only play it if you speak like Ringo while doing so.

I would have to adopt a suitable "nom de batterie" (i.e. "drum name" - Ringo wouldn't have a pen name).

Unfortunately, following the pattern set by Richard Starkey -> Ringo Starr, I would have to be Jango Domm.

Jango Domm sounds too much like a Spanish porn star for my tastes.

So that would make me....Scongo Brenn? Its sounds like the name of a lost tribe

Or a background character in the Mos Eisley cantina who was only named so they could sell an action figure of him.

Scongo Brenn, the most useless bounty hunter in the galaxy.

"Lord Vader, I have assembled the most vicious and tenacious bounty hunters from across the galaxy to assist in the search for Han Solo."

"Excellent. Who is this?"

"This is Bossk, a ruthless Trandoshan. Cold-blooded, both literally and figuratively."

"Impressive. And this?"

"Boba Fett, spliced from one of the original clones, decades ago. He favours disintegration of his quarry."

"We need Solo alive, Fett. Remember that. And... uh... who the hell...?"

"Uh... my clipboard says this is Scongo Brenn... but it's hand-written at the bottom of my list... in crayon..."

"Scongo Brenn... I find your lack of pants disturbing."

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

James and Shakespeare

aren't they fun? Shakespeare had it right with his "Kill all the lawyers" line

Wasn't that Maynard James Keenan?

Its very easy to confuse Shakespear and Tool.

Spot quiz: Were the following lines written by Shakespeare or Keenan?

F--k L. Ron Hubbard and
F--k all his clones.
F--k all those gun-toting
Hip gangster wannabes.

F--k retro anything.
F--k your tattoos.
F--k all you junkies and
F--k your short memory.

Isn't that from the famous "F--k you" speech from MacBeth?

You cannot begin to imagine how much I wish that were true.

I probably can.

I believe the speech ends with "Verrily, f--k you, forsooth, t'wixt the nethers with a horn-ed goat."

Shall I compare thy face to a monkey's arse?

(I even kept the iambic pentameter!)