Friday, February 11, 2011

James and the plumbers

[After discussing the difficulty of finding a plumber]

"Hello, is this a plumber?"
"Yes, do you have something that needs to be plumbified?"
"Oh yes, my plumbs have lost all plumbicity. I think they need new plumbitronics."
"Hmmm, it won't be cheap. You'll need some high plumbocity fittings with plumb plumb plumb."
"Oh dear, but will plumby plumb plumb plumb?"
"Plumb plumb plumb plumb."

Friday, February 4, 2011

James makes fun of Scott's typo

$4.95 a ig and I'll be calling electrivian shortly

That's very cheap for an ig. Igs haven't been so cheap since I was a child, growing up in the ig farming district of Igshire. We used to ride a cart into town and see all the ig merchants selling their wares from the backs of barrow. Five igs for a pound, they cost, for some of those little Spotted Marfworthies. So many other varieties, though, like the big golden Sunbeam Rafflegates and long green Parson's Plasterboards. Of course, most of the igs you see these days are tinned, and they're usual the cheap and nasty varieties like Little Brown Fauntleroys and Purple Quaids....

The electrivian:

He's the guy who comes into your house and repairs a crappy old record player in the shed while ignoring the fact that your fuse box is on fire.

James and the eels

After yesterday's email was titled, "My hovercraft is full of eels" and today's was titled "Hovercraft redux: This time it's personal"

...and this time, the eels mean BUSINESS!!!

Specifically accouncy. In fact, these eels will come to your home at a convenient time for you in their corporate hovercraft and conduct a free financial assessment. These eels guarantee that they will get every you every cent of tax return that you are entitled to.

These eels are EXTREME!!! ly good at finding every possible deductible expense, and they're getting ready to EXPLODE!!! the size of the tax refund you will receive.

"So your motto is 'Our refunds are like eels: slippery and hard to grasp'?"
"Doesn't exactly inspire confidence, does it?"