Thursday, August 30, 2007

James provides motivation

Rebecca:
someone, anyone find me some motivation.

James:
Okay, your father has stolen your magical tricycle, and you are torn between loyalty to him and loyalty to your first love - goat hurling. This internal conflict is manifesting itself as interpretive dance. There's your motivation.

Now... action!

James is going to hell

I just read the phrase "sexual assault briefs" and I couldn't help thinking "Wow, I didn't know there was an official uniform..."

Friday, August 24, 2007

James sets a challenge

Scott:
now you is but a cog in the big wheel of bureaucracy

James:
You're one little strand of red tape, tangled up in the massive federal red tape ball...

You're a red tape worm.

(Oh, I am so getting punched for that one...)

Scott:
And not just any punch but one using my new steam-driven automated mechanical punching arm.

James:
My dear boy, that fanciful contraption will never work. And to prove it, I offer you a wager: that you shall be unable to circumnavigate the globe in eighty days, using your machine to punch a native of every country along the equator. Jeeves! More tea here! If you lose, sir, you promise to never invent again!

Scott:
Why I accept your challenge good sir! I shall return with my machine in 80 days time having proved beyond doubt that automated steam powered punching is the way of the future! Charles, inflate my dirigible! We leave at once!

Friday, August 17, 2007

James rhymes

Scott:
And now for cheese

actually, no, its an interview with William Gibson. i just thought I'd get all your hopes up with a cheese tease.

James:
I am displeased by your cheese tease, and think you have a cheese tease disease, which fills me with unease.

Scott:
Please, good sir, let me ease your cheese tease disease unease. i have no disease, such as Cheese on the Knees. i am just a tease for the cheese and shall relax at my ease under the trees.

James:
Guards! Seize this cheese tease! ...but mind the fleas.

Scott:
Argh! my cheese! i curse your house with a plague of bees and peas!