Wednesday, April 23, 2008

James and the mechanoraptor

Amber:
Meanwhile, if I never have to write the phrase 'rapidly-adapting mechanoreceptor' again, I will be a happy person. Until the exam, at least.

James:
Damn, I'm disappointed. I was sure you wrote "rapidly-adapting mechanoraptor" for a moment and I thought "Cool! They're teaching her to make killer dinosaur robots!"

Amber:
Killer robot dinosaurs that LEARN.
That's not until second semester.

James:
Screenplay excerpt from MECHANORAPTOR, written by James Dominguez and Lee Murray
Scene 46


INTERIOR - RUINED LABORATORY


The MAIN LABORATORY of the research facility is ruined and dim. SIMPKINS lies on a desk, using it as a makeshift stretcher. His right arm ends at the elbow with a bloody stump, covered in scarlet rags. FLETCHER is attempting to barricade the door of the laboratory, which is shaking under repeated assaults by the MECHANORAPTORS.


FLETCHER - I don't understand, Simpkins. What did you do here? How did this happen?


SIMPKINS - [Speaking weakly, perhaps dying] We were given a brief by the army. Make them cybernetic, make them raptors, and make them rapidly-adaptable.


FLETCHER - It's such a simple plan! What on earth went wrong?


SIMPKINS - We could never have anticipated it. We put them in the finest cardboard boxes available, shackled them with chains made of only the highest quality liquorice. Armed guards patrolled their containment facility no less than once a month.


FLETCHER - It's the least I would have expected from you, but how did such extreme security measures fail? How, Simpkins?


SIMPKINS - We never expected... We made them highly-adaptable as requested, but we never thought... they would adapt in a bad way.


FLETCHER - [Shocked] No!


SIMPKINS - Yes. In our hubris we never thought that being highly-adaptable they might adapt to kill us too.


FLETCHER - My god! It's so simple! How could I not have realised it before? I feel so foolish!


SIMPKINS - None of us realised it, Fletcher. Don't blame yourself. In a movie like this, the monster always has to get loose in some matter, no matter how contrived.

Scott:
At this point the door bursts open, knocking FLETCHER to the floor where he shelters behind the corner of the desk. A growling MECHANORAPTOR slowly enters the room, teeth bared. The MECHANORAPTOR is wearing glasses.


MECHANORAPTOR - [speaking in a clipped, upper class English accent] I say chaps, what do we have here? Could be time for a spot of lunch, what?


FLETCHER - It can speak!


SIMPKINS - Of course! The adaptability! It must have learnt from the educational software on the computers in the nursery we built for those staff with children!


FLETCHER - Astounding! And not in the least contrived!

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