Amber:
Have I missed stuff?
James:
Well, let's see... In early March I was narrowly beaten in my campaign to become UN Secretary General by three children riding on each other's shoulders under a long coat. There go my plans for world domination. I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids.
Later I travelled to Monaco so seek my fortune as a gravel prospector. I thought I was going to be rich when I found what I thought was a massive granite pebble the size of a potato. Unfortunately it turned out to be an actual potato. I threw it at a petty royal in a bikini and felt much better. Why those Monacan princes think they can get away with wearing bikinis I will never know.
I was short-listed for the crew of the first manned (and, presumably, womanned) mission to Venus, but pulled out at the last moment when I found out the main cabin would not be clothing optional. If they think I'm flying all that way in zero gravity wearing clothes, they have another thing coming.
Oh, and yesterday I ate a sandwich.
You?
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