James writes constitutional amendments

Rebecca:
stop making me laugh you bastard

James:
Oops.

Sorry.

Rebecca:
are you sure?

James:
*correlates ledgers*

*publishes profit and loss statements*

Rebecca:
strange boy

James:
I'm being an accountant!!!!

*accounts*

*accounts some more*

Rebecca:
don't, I might not love you any more

James:
*accounts head off*

*accounts like the wind*

You don't love me when I account?

Rebecca:
urm... I take the fifth

James:
What's wrong with the fourth?

Everyone always ignores the fourth.

...and the third, for that matter.

The third is a prick, though, and a really mean drunk.

The fourth is awesome, though, and I feel it doesn't get the recognition it deserves,

Rebecca:
I don't even know what they all are!

James:
Urm...

The first is the right to put a gerbil in a toaster...

The second is the right for gerbils not to be put in toasters.

The third is something to do with gerbils having the right to carry concealed weapons in case someone tries to put them in a toaster.

The fourth is a constitutional recognition of the right of all citizens to sing in the shower.

Of course, felons are not entitled to the protection of law, so prison showers have strict no-singing policies.

Many refugees flee to America from nations in which shower singing is not protected by law, and even actively prosecuted.

Rebecca:
...right

James:
It's true! Ask Nadia!

...and if she says no, ignore her.

If she says yes, though, then she's obviously smart and knowledgeable like me.

Rebecca:
She also pleads the 5th

James:
I don't know what the right to glue polka dots on a llama has to do with anything.

Rebecca:
She's away gluing polka dots on llamas, she's unable to help

James:
Actually, I can see why so many people plead the fifth.

Polka dotted llamas are awesome.