James solves the problems of wankers

Scott:

Are you splitting wanker hairs?

James

Yes.

...with a backhoe.
...with chainsaws welded to it.
...while still attached to the wankers' heads.

Scott:

and a steam powered mechanical punching arm?

James:

Nah, bad for the environment. My mechanical punching arm is wind powered. it's quite ingenious, if I my say so. The device is placed in front of the mouth of a blathering wanker, whose rampant crapping-on powers a wind turbine. The turbine channels energy into a spring mechanism. When the spring achieves a high enough level of tension, a clasp unlocks and said wanker is bashed repeatedly in the face until the spring winds down.

Scott:

so you do you have to attach to the device to the wanker's head or is it ambulatory?